Women can only command real power once we socialise girls to take themselves seriously and develop mental grit. Violence against women gets a lot of press at the moment. As a woman, I find male violence always inexcusable and repugnant. As a clinical psychologist though I understand quite a lot about how and why it happens – since I frequently come up against it in my work. For sure, from a moral perspective the perpetrator is always at fault. Nonetheless, if we are to have any impact on stopping this violence, we need to understand how and why it often happens. From the perspective of how